1
00:00:08,890 --> 00:00:14,359
What time do you call this? You're three
hours late home.

2
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,710
Take it easy, Tracey. It's only quarter
to nine.

3
00:00:16,711 --> 00:00:19,219
Well, there's nothing to eat now, so I
hope you ain't hungry.

4
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,820
No, you hope I am hungry. Well, I ain't.

5
00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:24,850
I had one of them Cornish Pasty ice
creams up the pub.

6
00:00:26,020 --> 00:00:27,070
What?

7
00:00:27,071 --> 00:00:30,599
You know, the ones they microwave just
long enough so the outside burns your

8
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,790
mouth, but the inside stays as cold as
polar bear's wobbly bits.

9
00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:38,670
Mind you, come to think of it, it tasted
a bit like polar bear's wobbly bits.

10
00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:42,400
You are going to be really one of these
days, the muck you eat.

11
00:00:43,150 --> 00:00:45,440
Get it, will you, Trace? I'm cream
crackered.

12
00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:55,030
All right.

13
00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,050
Dorian. What are you doing outdoors
tonight?

14
00:01:00,410 --> 00:01:01,970
Well, it's not full moon, is it?

15
00:01:02,810 --> 00:01:03,890
Are you two finished?

16
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,490
No, it's Friday.

17
00:01:05,491 --> 00:01:08,459
I thought you always had the family
round on a Friday for chicken and

18
00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:11,590
aggravation. Yes, well, that's why I had
to get out of the house.

19
00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:15,820
Marcus invited his cousin Irving over.
God, what a fascist.

20
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:19,510
Why? Because he didn't put it to the
vote before he invited him.

21
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:20,660
No, not Marcus.

22
00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:25,439
Irving. You see, I happen to mention
that my next -door neighbour's husbands

23
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,580
were both in jail.

24
00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:28,820
Just making small talk, was I?

25
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:33,299
So, naturally, we got on to penal policy
in general. Now, I contended that

26
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:37,980
prison used humanely could offer
education, counselling, a chance to take

27
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:39,640
What, like shoplifters?

28
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:43,919
But Irving said that all prisoners
should be castrated because they were

29
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,360
subhuman dross.

30
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,400
Where did he make Mark Chris?

31
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,810
Well, Mark Darrell's not subhuman, Joss.
He just made him a spike.

32
00:01:52,270 --> 00:01:53,320
Yeah, he got caught.

33
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,829
Mind you, he might as well have been
castrated.

34
00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:56,880
Well,

35
00:01:56,881 --> 00:01:59,309
this is supposed to be a civilised
country.

36
00:01:59,310 --> 00:02:01,269
They don't give a monkey's about as
wives.

37
00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:05,649
In Sweden, in Mexico, even in the Turks
and the Caicos Islands you get your

38
00:02:05,650 --> 00:02:06,700
conjugal rights.

39
00:02:06,701 --> 00:02:10,668
You're allowed to visit your husband in
his cell and, you know, do the business,

40
00:02:10,669 --> 00:02:11,869
keep your marriage alive.

41
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,130
How fantastic.

42
00:02:13,970 --> 00:02:16,370
Oh, Dawn, you old perv.

43
00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:18,180
No, no.

44
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:22,149
I have been looking around for a subject
to do for my open university project. I

45
00:02:22,150 --> 00:02:25,070
was going to do guilt and the Jewish
mother.

46
00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:29,330
Now you can do guilt and the Greek bank
robber.

47
00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:34,690
No, no. Tracy has exposed a far more
exciting area.

48
00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:36,350
Do yourself up, Trace.

49
00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:41,610
Long -term imprisonment and sexual
deprivation.

50
00:02:42,710 --> 00:02:45,150
Yes, that's really gritty and low -life.

51
00:02:45,590 --> 00:02:47,350
Oh, my, Chris is a low -life grit.

52
00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:49,740
You could talk to him about it.

53
00:02:49,980 --> 00:02:52,630
What's she going to do, ring him on his
mobile phone?

54
00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:54,420
She can have my riveting order.

55
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,480
Don't be so stupid, Sharon.

56
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,580
I'm not being stupid.

57
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,190
Nobody knows us down in Albany, Nick. I
thought your husbands were in Leedston.

58
00:03:03,191 --> 00:03:06,429
Well, they are normally, but they're
entitled to a fortnight's holiday.

59
00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:09,610
So I went down to the travel agents,
booked up the Isle of Wight.

60
00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:13,140
They did want to go to America, but
Alcatraz was chock -a -block.

61
00:03:13,141 --> 00:03:15,809
Isn't Albany prison for desperate
criminals?

62
00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:18,749
Yes, but they've just been sent there
short -term while their wing -at -maze

63
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:20,109
phone's being refurbished.

64
00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,760
They're going to accentuate in and on
sweet toilets.

65
00:03:22,761 --> 00:03:26,349
They won't be so desperate once they've
got their own cars, you know.

66
00:03:26,350 --> 00:03:30,260
How riveting. I can hardly wait for the
feature in country homes and interiors.

67
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:35,699
The point is, if Doreen wants to visit
Cyprus' least valuable export, she can

68
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:39,130
get in as easy as saying, Mrs.
Christaki, Achilles Theodopolopidas.

69
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:43,840
I mean, with her Mediterranean looks,
she could pass for a bubble easy.

70
00:03:43,841 --> 00:03:48,999
Bubble? And if you come on the coach
with her, she could interview the other

71
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,590
prisoners' wives about their sexual
deprivation.

72
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,480
Sharon? Sharon, how can I ever repay
you?

73
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,340
I was hoping you'd ask that.

74
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,540
You can pay for our coach tickets.

75
00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:44,570
This coach trip is turning out to be a
psychosocial goldmine.

76
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,570
People are so open and honest.

77
00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:50,020
Well, the fibres you're doling out
probably help a bit, dog.

78
00:04:50,030 --> 00:04:53,110
I never knew people could be this poor.
I feel so guilty.

79
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:58,620
These women probably spend less on
clothes than I do on a luxury, like

80
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,600
Don't feel too bad, doll. For you,
makeup ain't a luxury.

81
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,780
Sharon, just let this clean.

82
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,970
Honestly, how can you even dare to put
that in your mouth?

83
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,560
She is going to be so sick.

84
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:33,890
Oh, no.

85
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,920
Oh, just let me die.

86
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,600
Oh, I'm not being soft.

87
00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:42,519
Perhaps you should have got a
seasickness from the ferry.

88
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,380
No, when we were on that cruise, I never
even had a twinge.

89
00:05:45,381 --> 00:05:49,219
Oh! You'll feel better once you see your
Daryl and have a nice cup of prison

90
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,940
tea. Oh, I can't, Shell.

91
00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:56,779
Just take me to an undertaker's. Oh, she
won't give a visit. She was only dying

92
00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:57,830
a bit.

93
00:05:58,640 --> 00:05:59,690
Oi, mate!

94
00:05:59,691 --> 00:06:02,139
Where's the nearest casualty department?

95
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:03,059
St Mary's.

96
00:06:03,060 --> 00:06:04,110
It's just up the road.

97
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,600
You can walk it from here.

98
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,000
I can't. Be sure you come.

99
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,370
Come on.

100
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:12,990
There you are.

101
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,780
Shall I come with?

102
00:06:16,781 --> 00:06:18,559
No, you'd better go and visit Chris.

103
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:19,640
If you're sure, Tracy.

104
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:22,580
Sharon, how will I recognise Chris?

105
00:06:22,581 --> 00:06:27,219
Easy. He's the swoonzy con whose tongue
will start hanging out the moment he

106
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,270
clocks you.

107
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,660
The nicest thing you've ever said to me.

108
00:06:39,619 --> 00:06:42,089
Boy, I hope that didn't go all over my
upholstery.

109
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:43,730
No, you didn't, Muck.

110
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,000
It went all over me.

111
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,880
Oi, Lady Muck, there's a queue here.

112
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,410
Oh, it's all right, I've got an
invitation.

113
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,380
Are you Chris Theodopolopoulos?

114
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:18,610
Depends.

115
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,660
Who wants to know? I'm Dorian, Sharon's
neighbour.

116
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:30,480
Um, could you get us two cups of tea,
please?

117
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,270
Please.

118
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:38,750
Hey,

119
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,520
a couple of Kit Kats and all.

120
00:07:41,301 --> 00:07:47,469
What the hell are you doing here?
Something happened to Sharon? No, no,

121
00:07:47,470 --> 00:07:50,810
fine. She just didn't want to visit you.
Ah, that's typical.

122
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:52,570
Just been transferred.

123
00:07:52,571 --> 00:07:55,669
Don't know no one apart from Daryl, and
she can't even be bothered to shift her

124
00:07:55,670 --> 00:07:59,529
fat arse across her soul. No, no, she
did shift her fat... She is on her own,

125
00:07:59,530 --> 00:08:02,780
right. I think she just came to the
candy floss and the donkey ride.

126
00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:05,150
She's all right, bitch.

127
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:08,589
She was like that all the time we was
together, mind. So I don't know why it

128
00:08:08,590 --> 00:08:09,970
still gets to me, but it does.

129
00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:14,359
I just can't help it. I'm so sorry if
I've upset you. Is there any way I can

130
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,410
cheer you up?

131
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:16,510
Yeah.

132
00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:19,750
They don't allow conjugal visits in
here, though.

133
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,820
Especially with someone else's wife.

134
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,080
Sorry. Well, I didn't mean to be crude.

135
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,340
It's just the way prison gets to you.

136
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,380
I suppose it's an aspect of sexual
deprivation.

137
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:32,930
What?

138
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,410
Oh, yeah.

139
00:08:34,620 --> 00:08:35,670
Yeah, yeah.

140
00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:38,000
Then everything in stir is an aspect
of...

141
00:08:38,409 --> 00:08:39,489
Sexual deprivation?

142
00:08:39,490 --> 00:08:43,829
What's it to you, if you don't mind me
asking? I'm writing a book called Long

143
00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:47,250
-Term Imprisonment and Sexual
Deprivation. Oh, yeah?

144
00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:49,230
Can I have any good pictures in it?

145
00:08:49,231 --> 00:08:54,889
Would you mind very much leaning forward
a little? I've got a microphone

146
00:08:54,890 --> 00:08:56,250
secreted in here.

147
00:08:57,910 --> 00:08:58,960
Now, go on.

148
00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:02,090
You were saying it was all an aspect of
sexual deprivation.

149
00:09:06,220 --> 00:09:09,840
They run out of Kit Kats, so I got you a
flaky stick.

150
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,920
That's so thoughtful of you. Keep the
change.

151
00:09:58,060 --> 00:09:59,620
You don't have a tissue, do you?

152
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,810
Funny enough, I was going to ask you the
same question.

153
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,690
Well, I think what she has is a dose of
food poisoning.

154
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,650
I told you you should have had the
chilli, Doug.

155
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:15,110
Fortunately, her digestive system
managed to get rid of the offending

156
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,500
Very fortunate, eh, Chice?

157
00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:24,039
Plenty of fluids, no food for 24 hours
and a day's bed rest, and you'll be as

158
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:24,919
right as rain.

159
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,480
Where am I going to get bed rest?

160
00:10:26,490 --> 00:10:27,630
I'm 100 miles from home.

161
00:10:27,631 --> 00:10:30,809
Look, I'll see if I can get somebody to
ring round and find you a bed and

162
00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:32,829
breakfast for the night, but it won't be
easy.

163
00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:34,090
You know, it's Cow's Week.

164
00:10:34,610 --> 00:10:36,410
What's that? The agricultural show.

165
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,070
It's our big yachting regatta.

166
00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:42,620
And they take their cows on the boats
with them, do they?

167
00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:44,970
I'll speak to my receptionist.

168
00:10:46,610 --> 00:10:47,660
Come on, mate.

169
00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:54,150
And the crazy thing about it is, all
them crimes I did for Sharon.

170
00:10:54,930 --> 00:10:55,980
I thought...

171
00:10:56,080 --> 00:11:01,899
If I made a better life for us, then our
marriage, well, you know... Well,

172
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:05,699
Sharon claims you started seeing other
women before the honeymoon was over.

173
00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:06,750
What?

174
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:10,450
Do I look like the sort of bloke who'd
spit on the sanctity of marriage?

175
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:14,520
I mean, our people, the Greek community.

176
00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:17,980
We value tradition.

177
00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:22,820
No, no, no. It was only much later, when
our son Sharon was putting it around,

178
00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:25,130
that I was forced to seek solace, you
know.

179
00:11:25,450 --> 00:11:26,830
In the arms of another woman.

180
00:11:27,190 --> 00:11:28,390
Well, women.

181
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:32,310
But of course, sex isn't everything.

182
00:11:32,311 --> 00:11:33,529
Isn't it?

183
00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:34,850
No, of course it isn't.

184
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:39,890
I mean, when do you give your missus a
good seeing to?

185
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,630
How long does it last? A couple of
hours?

186
00:11:46,710 --> 00:11:50,890
But that ain't the basis for a long
-lasting marriage, is it?

187
00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:52,520
It's a start.

188
00:11:54,860 --> 00:12:01,479
But it's not just sex, is it? I mean,
it's what's in here. You know, your

189
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:02,980
heart, your guts.

190
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:04,780
But Sharon don't understand.

191
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,150
I do.

192
00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:08,200
I know exactly what you mean.

193
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:11,940
All right, I muck around, tell a few
jokes.

194
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:16,179
I'm like a big kid sometimes, like
Gazza, without that streak of self

195
00:12:16,180 --> 00:12:17,339
-destructive violence.

196
00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:19,500
But inside, I'm sad.

197
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,440
And Sharon never saw it.

198
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:28,089
I've been doing these creative writing
classes in here, you know, to get it all

199
00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:29,770
out of my system. That's wonderful.

200
00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:32,070
I've even tried my hand at some poetry.

201
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:37,849
I wrote this poem for Sharon to express
my innermost feelings, to say all the

202
00:12:37,850 --> 00:12:41,220
things that are so hard to say, you
know, in ordinary conversation.

203
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,970
Hey, do you want to hear it?

204
00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:46,720
Please.

205
00:12:47,110 --> 00:12:48,370
Promise you won't laugh?

206
00:12:58,370 --> 00:13:05,049
Sometimes I wake up in tears, knowing
I'll be in here for years, while you,

207
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:08,190
once was my young bride, have to suffer
on the outside.

208
00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:12,110
Do you know how much I love you?

209
00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:15,110
Do you know how much I care?

210
00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:21,229
Promise me when I get out, I will find
you waiting there with a nice plate of

211
00:13:21,230 --> 00:13:22,280
paramosalata.

212
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,710
Well, what do you think?

213
00:13:28,219 --> 00:13:31,660
Um, I think it's very touching in its
simplicity, Christopher.

214
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:35,300
I'm not sure about the taramasalata
line, though.

215
00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:38,990
What, you reckon it would be better with
stuffed vine leaves?

216
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,300
Come on, visiting's over.

217
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:42,970
Time's up.

218
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:44,570
Well,

219
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,100
it's been a very nice meeting, yeah.

220
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,920
Well, who knows, we may meet again.

221
00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:52,820
Pardon? I may need to do more research.

222
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:55,110
Blimey.

223
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:56,990
Well, go on, then.

224
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,700
Give him a kiss, then you can go on.

225
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:23,559
Good job you didn't want to ruin me for

226
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:24,610
saving your life.

227
00:14:26,439 --> 00:14:27,489
Feeling any better?

228
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,650
A bit.

229
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,240
I hope Daryl's all right.

230
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,720
Of course he's all right.

231
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,810
They wouldn't dare feed prisoners the
sort of crap you can get in motorway

232
00:14:35,811 --> 00:14:39,359
You know, I phoned the prison to tell
them you're a bit Moby Dick and to tell

233
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:40,410
Dorian where we are.

234
00:14:40,411 --> 00:14:41,859
Thanks, Cheryl.

235
00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:42,699
It's all right.

236
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:43,780
It's only a local call.

237
00:14:43,781 --> 00:14:47,339
I mean, thanks for not reminding me how
I went on at you for eating that chilli

238
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:50,919
dog. Well, I thought you'd feel more
guilty if I didn't bring it up. If you

239
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,060
pardon the expression.

240
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:58,100
This is the Majestic Hotel.

241
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,220
What's majestic about it?

242
00:15:01,221 --> 00:15:06,199
There's a damp patch on that wall that
looks just like King Juan Carlos of

243
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,250
Spain.

244
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:12,159
This hotel is a microcosm of all that is
wrong with this godforsaken country as

245
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,260
we limp towards the 21st century.

246
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:18,519
Well, it's cows week, isn't it? It's the
only place that's got a vacancy. I

247
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:19,570
wonder why.

248
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,180
Did Mr and Mrs Bedbug have to cancel?

249
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:37,220
Reminds me, I could murder a toasted
mutton sandwich.

250
00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:39,840
Yes,

251
00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:45,190
I'm feeling much better, Dorian. Thank
you for asking. I'm so sorry, Tracy.

252
00:15:46,090 --> 00:15:47,990
Well, what was it? My lunch.

253
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:49,350
The quiche of death.

254
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:52,250
Well, you can't possibly sleep in here.

255
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,589
Heaven only knows what else you'll pick
up.

256
00:15:54,590 --> 00:15:55,889
No, Tracy will be all right.

257
00:15:55,890 --> 00:15:58,300
She loves her Daryl too much to pick up
anything.

258
00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:00,630
All I need is a peaceful night's cute.

259
00:16:00,950 --> 00:16:02,870
Well, I am not sleeping in here.

260
00:16:03,450 --> 00:16:04,500
You don't have to.

261
00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:08,300
You can go down the front and chat up a
big bloke with a nice big yacht.

262
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,009
That's what you do, is it, Sharon?

263
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:12,410
If I wasn't tending to my poor sister,
yeah.

264
00:16:12,411 --> 00:16:14,649
No wonder you couldn't hang on to your
husband.

265
00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:15,700
Hang on to what?

266
00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:17,740
Hearing about?

267
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:23,570
What's that lying merchant been feeding
you? I know that he has a poet's heart.

268
00:16:24,630 --> 00:16:26,070
A tortured soul.

269
00:16:26,730 --> 00:16:28,110
The eyes of an artist.

270
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:31,340
Are you sure you stopped at the right
table?

271
00:16:32,839 --> 00:16:36,879
Hey, Trace, tell her what a scumbag he
was to me. Look, leave me out of this,

272
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:37,819
I'm ill.

273
00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:41,130
Yes, now you know how I feel whenever I
have to look at his ugly bulk.

274
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:44,190
Well, don't worry, Sharon. You won't
have to see him again.

275
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,350
Good.

276
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,650
Why not?

277
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,720
Because he's got me now, hasn't he?

278
00:16:58,741 --> 00:17:01,919
What do you mean he's got you now?

279
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,530
You should be pleased. You weren't
exactly the best wife a man could have.

280
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,610
And he tried a few.

281
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,050
You refused to live with him in his
parents' house.

282
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:14,780
You forced him to lose face and live in
a council flat. A problem block.

283
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,740
It weren't a problem block until he
moved in.

284
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:22,599
You constantly tried to undermine his
manhood by comparing him to Daryl.

285
00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:24,579
I've never even seen Daryl.

286
00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:29,259
You always... Try to laugh off the
difficult things, don't you, Sharon?

287
00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:32,750
when Chris wanted to save your marriage,
you had to turn it into a joke.

288
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,740
Our marriage was a joke.

289
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,090
There you go again.

290
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:40,659
But it doesn't matter now. All right, so
you were a dismal failure as a wife. It

291
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,710
happens.

292
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,610
You what?

293
00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:45,430
You cow!

294
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,460
I tried for years to make my marriage
work.

295
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,020
I supported him.

296
00:17:51,021 --> 00:17:54,879
I turned two blind eyes while he was
knobbing and rubbing his way through the

297
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:56,020
tenants' association.

298
00:17:57,740 --> 00:18:01,230
He'd fallen out of love with me long
before I'd given him up as a bad job.

299
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,280
And now he's trying to use you the way
he used me.

300
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,130
Meaning?

301
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,800
He's not stupid, Dor.

302
00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:12,519
When you tottered into that visiting
room and your hundred quid stilettos, he

303
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,990
thought, Oi, oi, look at that Tom on
that Richard.

304
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,650
Tom?

305
00:18:17,780 --> 00:18:18,830
Richard?

306
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,010
Tom.

307
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,240
Tomfoolery. Jewellery.

308
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:24,030
Richard, Richard III, Bird, it's
obvious.

309
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:27,270
Oh, I wish I'd done A -level vulgarity
like you, Sharon.

310
00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:34,389
What I'm saying is, when Chris clocked
you jangling more jewellery than Ron

311
00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:38,929
Atkinson, he thought, I'll give her the
old tortured Marta Moody. Then she'll be

312
00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:39,980
good for a few perks.

313
00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:45,150
It'll start with the long, lingering
looks with those hurt brown eyes of his.

314
00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:49,140
And it'll end up with you smuggling in
the old Colombian marching powder.

315
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:51,799
I know him, Dore.

316
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:52,759
Stands on me.

317
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:53,840
I'd love to, Sharon.

318
00:18:55,020 --> 00:19:00,299
But if your analysis is correct, then
why has he started dedicating poetry to

319
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,350
you? Him?

320
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:04,650
He wouldn't know poetry if it punched
him in the kidneys.

321
00:19:04,651 --> 00:19:06,199
Yes, well, that's where you're wrong.

322
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,300
He's attending creative writing classes.

323
00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:10,700
This is it, in his own handwriting.

324
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,360
He wrote this? That's right, Sharon. You
see...

325
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:21,690
He is still in love with you, the poor
fool.

326
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:26,920
Sometimes I wake up in tears, knowing
I'll be in here for years.

327
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:30,070
Don't believe it.

328
00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:46,070
Sharon?

329
00:19:46,940 --> 00:19:48,440
Sorry, Tracy, I'll wake you up.

330
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,290
What time is it?

331
00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:53,030
Half eleven.

332
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,120
I went to the pictures.

333
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:55,890
What did you see?

334
00:19:56,140 --> 00:19:57,190
Silence of the lambs.

335
00:19:58,460 --> 00:20:00,450
I thought he might cheer me up, you
know.

336
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:02,800
It's Dorian, though, yeah?

337
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:06,150
No. I don't know where she flounced off
to and I don't give a toss.

338
00:20:06,151 --> 00:20:08,699
Do you know what she said about Chris?

339
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:10,080
No, I want to go back to sleep.

340
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:13,470
She reckons he reckons that our marriage
failed because of me.

341
00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:15,480
I mean, I've done my best, didn't I?

342
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,860
You do say so, Cheryl.

343
00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:21,190
So me and Daryl always used to say it
takes two to turn a flat into a pigsty.

344
00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:24,590
What do you know?

345
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:26,400
You never used to come to our flat.

346
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,460
I didn't fancy having the injections.

347
00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:30,590
Oh, I see.

348
00:20:30,591 --> 00:20:34,299
So you're taking Chris's side now, are
you? No, all I'm saying is you could

349
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,590
made a bit more of an effort. I mean,
look at you.

350
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:38,960
What's wrong with me?

351
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,210
Well, nothing now.

352
00:20:40,211 --> 00:20:41,199
You look good.

353
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,429
But when you was with Chris, I mean, you
did let yourself go a bit, didn't you?

354
00:20:44,430 --> 00:20:48,109
I mean, you spent so long in that
horrible old pink velour tracksuit,

355
00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:50,160
I thought you had a nasty skin
condition.

356
00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:52,220
Good night.

357
00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:53,360
Good night.

358
00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:59,280
But what about all that lovey -dovey
poetry?

359
00:20:59,281 --> 00:21:03,249
I mean, what if he really does want to
make something of our marriage?

360
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:04,530
What, a game show?

361
00:21:18,890 --> 00:21:20,090
That Dorian's all right.

362
00:21:20,091 --> 00:21:21,869
Do you reckon she went back to London?

363
00:21:21,870 --> 00:21:22,920
Probably.

364
00:21:22,921 --> 00:21:26,949
Unless God answered my prayers as she's
been carried out to sea by a freak tidal

365
00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:28,000
wave.

366
00:21:28,970 --> 00:21:31,910
I can't wait to see Daryl. I can't wait
to see Chris.

367
00:21:32,450 --> 00:21:33,500
Aye?

368
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,690
I've got to have it out with him, Trace.

369
00:21:36,210 --> 00:21:39,820
I've got to find out if he was telling
Dorian the truth about how he feels.

370
00:21:41,170 --> 00:21:42,310
Good morning, Tracey.

371
00:21:43,490 --> 00:21:45,170
Glad to see you're feeling better.

372
00:21:45,650 --> 00:21:47,210
Where did you get to last night?

373
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,830
I booked into the best hotel on the
island.

374
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,160
A platinum card opens every door.

375
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:54,540
What, you turned ass -breaker?

376
00:21:55,420 --> 00:21:57,890
I thought everyone was booked up for
Cairns Week.

377
00:21:58,220 --> 00:22:00,510
Must be why they made an exception for
Dorian.

378
00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:06,470
Sniping at me won't save your marriage,
dear.

379
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,720
I hope this coffee isn't instant.

380
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,460
Instant? I just took 15 minutes to get
here.

381
00:22:13,380 --> 00:22:14,780
Is that no glass, Dorian?

382
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,450
Hardly.

383
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,780
Where would I find a Versace silk shirt
on this quaint, old -fashioned island?

384
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:25,539
No, I always carry a crease -resistant
item or two in my handbag in case I have

385
00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:27,160
to unexpectedly stay overnight.

386
00:22:28,460 --> 00:22:30,990
But, of course, now I've discovered
Christopher.

387
00:22:31,540 --> 00:22:32,590
Oh?

388
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:36,040
Oi, hold up. Hold up. He's still my
husband.

389
00:22:36,780 --> 00:22:41,499
If he sincerely wants to make things
work, if he really has developed this

390
00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:45,410
side to his nature, well, maybe I should
give him another chance. Just a moment.

391
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:50,160
It was to me that he revealed his
sensitive secret side, not you.

392
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:55,180
I'm the one that can nurture his
potential, buy him books, writing

393
00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:56,560
find him a literary agent.

394
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,560
You two have gone raving mad.

395
00:22:58,561 --> 00:23:01,159
Well, I'm going to visit him today.

396
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,210
Then we'll see.

397
00:23:02,211 --> 00:23:03,659
How are you going to do that?

398
00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:05,890
Dorian used your visiting order
yesterday.

399
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,000
I've got half a dozen unused ones from
Maidstone in me bag.

400
00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:10,540
I'll bluff my way in.

401
00:23:10,980 --> 00:23:12,080
Easy peasy.

402
00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:17,110
Thank you.

403
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:19,970
Thanks.

404
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:21,930
All right.

405
00:23:24,940 --> 00:23:26,920
See, you've got the wrong Nick, darling.

406
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,600
She's Albany, not Maidstone.

407
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,300
Maidstone's about 80 miles in that
direction.

408
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,150
Ah, I must have got me visiting orders
mixed up.

409
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,530
He got transferred from Maidstone last
week.

410
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,190
You know, while they were putting on
sweet bathrooms in their cells.

411
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,330
Please.

412
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:47,380
Well, I suppose... Hang about.

413
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,560
It says here, Mrs.

414
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,120
Theo Topolopoulos.

415
00:23:51,380 --> 00:23:52,430
Yes?

416
00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:54,020
Well, she was here yesterday.

417
00:23:54,021 --> 00:23:54,979
Can't be.

418
00:23:54,980 --> 00:23:56,030
Yes, she was.

419
00:23:56,780 --> 00:24:00,690
A dark -haired tart with a leopard -skin
coat, loads of make -up and jewellery.

420
00:24:01,380 --> 00:24:02,430
That was his mum.

421
00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:07,710
The way he was kissing her yesterday, he
should be doing time for incest.

422
00:24:07,711 --> 00:24:11,619
I don't know what your game is, darling,
but you should sling your hook. Or I'll

423
00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:12,670
call the local fuzz.

424
00:24:12,940 --> 00:24:14,920
and you'll be received in prison visits.

425
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:19,610
Right, next.

426
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,010
Thank you.

427
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,360
So you mean to say you've been coming
here for the past 22 years? Why?

428
00:24:25,660 --> 00:24:30,539
I was doing manual labour on the island
for 18 years, and I got to like the

429
00:24:30,540 --> 00:24:31,590
place.

430
00:24:31,660 --> 00:24:32,880
18 years?

431
00:24:32,881 --> 00:24:36,259
What makes you spend 18 years working on
the Isle of Wight?

432
00:24:36,260 --> 00:24:38,620
The judge at my murder trial.

433
00:24:48,260 --> 00:24:52,260
Well? Yeah, he's really settled in well.
He's got his own cell with Steve, you.

434
00:24:52,261 --> 00:24:54,839
The food's a million times better than
Maidstone.

435
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,379
And the screws are all right and all. I
ain't talking about Daryl. What about

436
00:24:58,380 --> 00:25:02,460
Christopher? Has he spoken to him? What
does Daryl say about him?

437
00:25:02,780 --> 00:25:04,140
Has he told Daryl about me?

438
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,040
Daryl said all Chris can talk about was
how fantastic Dorian was.

439
00:25:08,041 --> 00:25:11,279
And that he's finally realised there's
no chance of you two ever getting back

440
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,410
together again. And he wants Dorian to
start visiting regular.

441
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,360
And maybe a real relationship will
develop based on deep mutual respect.

442
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:20,480
Christopher said that?

443
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,810
Blimey. He must have been going to
writing classes.

444
00:25:24,180 --> 00:25:25,960
How could you have doubted him?

445
00:25:25,961 --> 00:25:27,799
Yeah, Daryl and Chris have been going
together.

446
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,660
Daryl said Chris is really fantastic.

447
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,210
I'm so pleased.

448
00:25:31,900 --> 00:25:35,090
You see, I'm not doing a psychology
course for nothing, Sharon.

449
00:25:35,620 --> 00:25:37,480
I have innate sensitivity.

450
00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:43,100
And in what way exactly has Christopher
been fantastic, Trace?

451
00:25:43,101 --> 00:25:47,819
Well, Daryl wrote me this little poem,
but he was too embarrassed to tell me.

452
00:25:47,820 --> 00:25:51,659
He was going to keep it secret, but
Chris got him to say it over and over

453
00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:53,770
until he learned it by heart sort of
thing.

454
00:25:54,140 --> 00:25:55,500
Oh, bless him.

455
00:25:56,820 --> 00:25:58,940
And did Daryl tell you his little poem?

456
00:25:59,220 --> 00:26:00,680
He wrote it down for me.

457
00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:03,200
Let's hear it then, eh, Chase?

458
00:26:03,201 --> 00:26:04,359
Oh, why?

459
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:06,160
It's personal. That's right, Sharon.

460
00:26:06,161 --> 00:26:10,339
How can you expect Tracy to share such
an intimate message with us? Daryl

461
00:26:10,340 --> 00:26:11,600
it with Chris, didn't he?

462
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,780
I mean... Chris helped Daryl learn it by
heart.

463
00:26:15,460 --> 00:26:19,600
In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if
Chris hadn't learned it by heart and

464
00:26:21,420 --> 00:26:22,920
Oh, all right, I'll read it.

465
00:26:28,180 --> 00:26:33,760
Sometimes I wake up in tears, knowing
I'll be in here for years.

466
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:39,140
While you, who once was my young guide,
had to suffer on the outside.

467
00:26:39,190 --> 00:26:43,740
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0